You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
