you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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