i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
