If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
