if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
