And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize
