I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
