Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Houston, we have a squirter
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize