Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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