I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
