Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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