You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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