I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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