no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
