She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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