my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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