Cold hands, warm shart.
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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