Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
