You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
