yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
