even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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