to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
being pregnant is like rehab
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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