My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
