Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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