shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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