they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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