that's an acceptable place to lick
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
