Need sex. Gaining weight.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize