I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
