Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
