Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
