I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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