I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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