Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
