he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i want to swaddle you in tequila
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
as a side note pls kill me
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
