Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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