I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
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just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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