Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
