Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
