I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
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no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
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I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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