I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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