There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
