Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
