i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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