i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
