Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
