omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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