Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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