You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
