So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
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