Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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