Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
