i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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