sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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