what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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