If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
