He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
