I have demons in me.
there's paper in my vomit.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
