we're blogging at a bar
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
babies were throwing up all over the place
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
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all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
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Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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