Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
