I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
