I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
