I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Enjoy the penises
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
